The Year

The year runs generally
From January to December
But there are other years too
Depending on what you do
The financial year
The student year
The football season
Birthdays and harvests
My birthday's at the end of Jan
And what with Christmas
(Time for spiritual contemplation)
And the standard New Year
That tends to be a period
For me
Of heavy introspection
Evaluation
Looking back
Cleaning house
Thinking forward
It comes spontaneously
It sometimes grabs me by the balls
This year though
While at Amma's
"Christmas came early"
The marker of time with her
Her London visit
Every October/November
The way the scenery's the same
The memories
The faces
Getting older...
All those changes
Over the fourteen years since I first met her
And in particular
The last twelve months
When Yair was here
Smiling gladly
Modeling balloons
Disappearing crazily
To watch Champions League football
And Laura...
And Nicky...
It all comes flooding back!
What a groovy and crazy year I've had!
Learning the folly of 'free love'
Running a university squash league
Dropping nine tabs of acid
Hitch-hiking on Christmas Eve and Day
The madness of Vipassana
The horror of the month after that
And then February and March and April
When my heart got torn apart
And I cried buckets
Realised a billion things
And swore blind I was in a mid-life crisis
I ditched my apartment
Lived in a rectory
Lived with 20-year-old Evangelical Christians
Sleeping in bunk beds
And listening to them 'speak in tongues'
I had a vision of Greece
A genuine frickin' vision!
And I went there
And was proved right
And on my return
Left my happy and comfortable life in Leeds
My jobs and home
My more-than-enough income
And rode a train to a city
I knew nothing about
On the strength of my feelings
And lived there pretty much homeless
Sleeping in a shed
Buying food for the poor
And smiling at everyone
And it was one of the most
Gleeful
Giddy
Peaceful and fulfilling
Times of my life
What a crazy, wonderful year!
Not to mention
Visiting Californians
Providence and miracles
Learning unparalleled
And feeling somewhat useful at times too
Who said life in England was boring?
Me
I did
That's who
I thought youth was over
I needed to change
Maybe even 'grow up'
But what this year has shown me
And most particularly
Trusting that vision
And all my irrational feelings
For new direction and transformation
Is
Wow
There's a lot of life to live
I'm still young
I ain't dead yet
And life on the edge
Really is where it's at
The joy
The growth
Maybe even the love
Love Growth Joy
Isn't that what it's all about?
Screw security!
Hahahahaha