Exeter, Devon #3

In between refereeing two football matches
A quick post in the blog
Which I'm always uncertain about
But -
Hey ho
I've got pretty good on the old delete button of late
And seem to be containing it quite well
Mostly just writing about what I've done
Instead of endless musings and expulsions
Of thought
Of feeling
And -
All I'm saying is
Two days ago I was all gung-ho for Canada
Then I got swamped by thoughts of a particular woman
And all the reasons I couldn't commit to her
And then a miracle happened
Just through saying hello
To a friendly, smiley 'psychic
And I suddenly realised she was awesome
And there were no problems at all
Thought I was cured
Quite ready for it
But then somebody I kind of trust says
No
Probably not
Why don't you go on adventures instead?
And of course that always sounds appealing
Quotes in books
Always telling you to risk all
And do the mad thing
Live your dream
But maybe what it is really
Is living someone else's dream
Cos they don't have the -
Anyway
Last night I go to sleep
After an incredible few hours in the church
After walking joyfully in the rain
Just chortling and singing to myself
Amidst waves of realisation
And laughing even more
Cos I had no idea why
And whaddya know?
I dream then of some other girl
The one who always throws the spanner in the works
And I'm back to square one
Oh well
This is all some kind of teaching
To surrender to the moment
To decide only when the point of decision comes
To truly live one day at a time
Ever alert
Ever expecting
Change
The unexpected
Something new
Just thought I'd throw that out there
Quite often writing in public
And sharing my questions
Helps to bring the answers
Frees up whatever stuck energy
I might have invested in those thoughts
Though maybe this time I'm being too vague
Wanting privacy
Wanting to continue in this blog style
Of concentrating on what's actually happened
It's better
- believe it or not! -
Than the millions and billions of words I used to throw out
Without really thinking
That stuff was bottomless
But now I've got glee.

Still -
You'd better frickin' tell me one day!
You crazy-ass Universe
LMFAO