Tuesday, 25 September 2007

My weekend just gone

Rory went to London

And had fun

And hung with lovely, cool, friendly people

And felt alive and young again

He also moved out of his house

And is now writing this from a top secret location

Which is not deep inside a mountain

Or on a Pacific island

But may one day be

And back in Leeds

Three hours after leaving King's Cross

He was chasing thieves

And untangling messes of Oxfam paperwork

And in his homeless state

And his uncertainty

He wasn't as happy as he was in London

And that's something he never thought he'd hear himself say

But it's true

Yorkshire seems dull

His lack of friends

His lack of interests

All the things he hoped he'd find when he moved here

Nothing seems to have come to pass

His job...

His manager is pissing him off!

He longs again to quit and leave

Or be fired

Like he always does

He's in danger, perhaps

Of drifting off into space again

Like he always does

He doesn't know what to do

Even that relationship that seemed to be putting itself back together

The one with X

Seems not to appeal anymore

Like he's forgotten about it

Like something's changed

During that weekend away

(Maybe it was the CO2)

And Y, the one he hurt

Wrote him a long letter about all the things he did wrong

And all the things that are wrong with him

And though it seems kind of unjustified and misplaced

Like she's missed the mark

Like she doesn't really know him

He's not really bothered to defend himself

Everyone's entitled to their opinion

Everyone's got their own trip to live

And him...what does he want?

To be in that place that feels right

To be with those people that feel right

Where one can be himself

Where life is happening

Where things occur

One is too young to die just yet

(By death one means 'not live')

So voluntarily homeless and confused once more

It's time to hang out in the uncertainty

To resist the urge to rush back to what's safe, the known

To wait...

For the thing that will occur, that will reward

That leap of faith that says

"I want more - I demand satisfaction!"

To life

And when life says, "do you?"

And when you have shown you do, through sufferance

The thing will come.

I am me, I feel

This world, my oyster

And I'm sorry, guys

Because I know you're reading this

And I'm guessing you'd like more

Something different

But...I wasn't able.

I'm smiling now; I want to say "thank you"

I feel some love

I'm done

By-eeeeee! :-)

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