Ziggy Appreciation Thread
Ziggy went way up in my estimation with his interview; I finally saw what he is - just a normal bloke, with hang-ups and insecurities and stuff. At first it was like, boy-bander, male-model, and that created an image that he should be something special - and when he showed himself to be kind of crappy and confused and lost it was like, what's with this guy? But the thing is, with the boy-band thing, well he couldn't sing or dance - so God only knows how that happened - and as for being a male model...I can't see that in a million years! Take those things away and what you've got is just a young guy trying to be something he's not - ie, perfect and together - and you're left with a pretty normal bloke, riddled with nueroses and insecurities, and full of politeness, charm, and an ambition to do the right thing, no matter how misguided at times. He definitely improved for me in that interview - he wasn't trying to be anything then, he was just showing us who he actually is (for the most part) with his vulnerabilities and all.Nevermind, Zig, just try being a normal bloke and maybe you can find a bit of happiness by doing something good instead as chasing that celebrity malarkey.
Cheers!
This forum and its members
I hope some of you take on board what I say, but for most of you, it'll be a chance for you to hurl abuse, or, like you've done all summer, be complete tools.
God, love, get yourself a brush and sweep some immortal genuines from under the table! Your basil and formica twisties "don't impress me much"; they smell of effluent; they cream like Dolly's part on Eskimo Joe's Little Shlop of Horrorors. I think you need to take a long, short look in the mirror and go, "ooh, aren't I pretty, I've got four ears and a tusk and I don't look anything like Barry Manilow does since he choked on that giant truffle and his eyes swelled up to less than 3 times their natural size." I mean, don't you think that would make you feel better? Or, at least, it would give your wives and their seventeen blubbering children something to hang on to while they quizzed your lovely mummy on her whereabouts during the executions of Saddam Hussein and the seven squalid squids of
Tracey innocent
Squeegy board and black Fred's ruler have confiscated maitre d'olive when Simon Templar's uncle felt unwise and grimped. "There's the little bleeder!" squeaked Arthur's bran-stalk, "I'll cratch him!"
Did he? Blimey, no! He left him slipper and cramped a wee little orphan's toothbrush on a pole.
Quite!
D'you know....I was just thinking the same thing...........
Brian a virgin??
He bummed me once - does that count?
(Even though it was an accident...)
Gosh... are you ok?
I'm a man; I can take it.
Good as long as you are still in one piece!
Well I'm okay - but I'm definitely not in one piece. That's because I'm made out of lego.
You have to give Amy credit!
Sorry but I don't have to give Amy anything - I already gave her my address, phone number, two pairs of slippers and an almost full pint of milk (organic!) and what did I get in return? Nothing! She's ignored all my calls, sellotaped her letterbox shut and now I hear she's telling her friends that she wouldn't let me clean the leaves out of her gutters even if I was the tallest person in the village - which I am! (7'2")
To be honest, the only thing I want to give her now is a cactus-shaped tomato I've been hiding the last few years down the side of the toaster. It's got crumbs on it. They're all brown and smell of mouldy onions.
A question about grammar
WEhat about this sentence?
"Is am ninehrently lost or is inehrnetly lost man?"
Is the averb in the right place?
Am I the only one who can't understand this post?
When the sofa and I sat down the twelve housemates became levitating shrimp and called their mothers each and every day on those new-fangled cell phones which can speak themselves and have seven different types of ears built into them; this was on a Tuesday, the day before our Kevin's birthday, when his little known world-famous brother, Bartledunsqueak sent him a letter from Japan which read: "Dear Kevin dear, I am in Japan and sending you this latter letter from Japan where I am. Yours, loveletteringly, Bartledunsqueak." Well, as you can well understand, a tea cosey and furniture store ombudsman quacked when they heard this and shepherded themselves into a dove's oven and cried. "Boo-hoo," they said, "we aren't made for fancy biscuits like these, we're just cream cracker men, we can't handle the expense of it!" They wailed and wailed and then they were like, "Oh, I know, let's be happy now" - so they were. Anyway, when Kevin's magic elbow finally saved the day and bought everybody an enormous ice cream, big enough to block out the sun, the moon, and a number 14 bus, twelve tiny flowers opened and spewed their behemothic waves of plight upon the land. "This sofa is ours," they said, "it ain't big enough for the two of us." The residents of Kampuchia fled; they were ostriches too. "All these wheels will camp on darkness and swoon," Uncle Franklin J. Rumbush cooed from the silence of his own clay oven, "and when the big hand smiles on a manifold dung-donkey sprocket-based chimney worm I'll be there, cheering you on, likening your plimsoles to a well-worn toothbrush and going 'whoop whoop' like that Russian tennis player I once dreamed about but who never actually existed - or for that matter, appeared in my dream about her." The twins fell silent; they were squealing with delight. "We don't really understand you," they intoned in their noseless earballs, "but whoo-whoo's all right for an early morning basket-weaving conglomeration of saintly sinus markets." Goo! Make your bloody mind up!
I hereby nominate you for 'post-of-the-day' award. I am afraid all I can offer in way of an award though is a pink pencil with a lovely bit of bouncy rubber at the end.
Favourite One-Liner This Year
Ziggy to Jonty: If I lick your little bell will you whip me up a kipper and some chips?
Jonty: No.
Your fav thing about each person
Ziggy: eats snow and real handy with a plough
Carole: twelve funny
Liam: bent some spoons for me once when I was on holiday, and also ate my cat's litter tray
Amanda: can do really great joined up writing and also swam in the 1976 Montreal Olympics for Ireland
Carole: good at incubating and also following orders without actually knowing what they are, which is a real virtue in this day and age
Sam: working day and night for a cure to the ebola virus, invented wikipedia, smells really nice, like a big onion
Brian: sold his limbs to buy his mum a can of hairspray and then made do with two sticks for arms and an old lawnmower instead of legs, and never a word of complaint
Jonty: sweats little gold coins which he then gives to the poor and suffering of Gateshead, and sends all his used carrier bags to Willy Rushton's aging mother, so at least she has some company
Ziggy: makes little bow-ties for a colony of bats that live in his neighbours' shed, and never charges a penny
Carole: fed the five thousand with just a few loaves of bread and raised Zebedee from the dead
Amanda: likes cuckoos, and tells them bedtime stories every twenty-three minutes or so
Have I missed anyone?
No comments:
Post a Comment