Friday, 13 September 2013

Hand-written journal #1

And just as I was waking up a young Japanese (?) girl was on the phone saying she needed to get closer to me. And a young Japanese (?) guy was saying I had to come to his party. Something to do with my book, and Canada. And my first thoughts of the day are about trips and travels and the way they arise - the spontaneous ones - the ones guided by newness and above. Too many thoughts in my brain guided by old, by the world (the internet). God is newness. God speaks...in unexpected, futuristic ways. By that I mean in contrast to the mind, which is based on past experiences and what is known, what is thinkable. Have to be more free, more open. The world's a blank canvas. My mind wants to go on recreating the past. My spirit wants to step forward into newness, into blankness, into empty, uncreated space. Was Eve in there too? Or just another reminder of the mental attachment to the past? And the places journies into newness can take us? It's not safe - but it is growth, and interesting.

The new
Slough off the old
Step bravely
Into a whole new world
An empty world
An uncreated world
Naked as a newborn babe
Carrying not the safety net
Of internet address book
And old friends
There, you get what you know
But I want something new
I've already done the old
I know what that means

Even Canada, perhaps, is old, is known, is familiar. Even writing. Everything my mind leaps to. But what was the other big lesson of Greece?

1. I can trust myself.
2. Travel with God is a moment by moment thing. No need to know the future. Korinth > Loutraki > one monastery > the next > my home. And that was great. And then the mind took me on tourist trips, to places known and past, and that was...okay, because I made it so. But it wasn't the same.

Okay, God, you lead the way. Everything must serve You. To throw myself in the river. To do Your will. To follow...the signs. The path. Free of human - internet - mental - interference.

The new. The new. The new...

Lesson #3:

It was better back then
'98, '99
When there was no internet
Christ!
The greatest time of my life
Those first 4 months in Mexico
I never went near it at all
But life was amazing
And the '99 that followed...
Now far too much reliance on computer
It drags me to it
Keeps me in the past
Keeps me...tethered
And away from God
I know that
Every man alive will tell me I'm wrong
Oh well
They are known
I want...the unknown

What to take with me to Exeter:

Contact Devon FA/leagues? Yes.
Go via London? Yes.
Via Kent? Yes.
When? Tuesday.
Take guitar? No.
Take devil sticks? Yes.
Take tent? Yes.
Take ref gear? No.
Not even basic kit? No.
Hard drive/laptop? No.
Winter clothes? No.

Cool.

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