Reviews of movies I’ve watched recently:

50/50

I had high hopes for this one – I like Seth Rogen films, it had featured in many people’s ‘Best of 2011’ lists – but it turned out to be pretty disappointing, just a standard guy gets cancer and maybe looks like he’s going to die but doesn’t film. Didn’t help that the main character was a total unlikeable personality-less drip. Who gives a fuck? Surely half the audience spent the movie willing him to die. And therein lies more disappointment – ‘cos knowing it’s autobiographical we’re pretty certain he won’t.

The Secret World of Arrietty

This was good! A nice film – such a pleasant antidote to all those dramatic movies that really don’t have that much to do with actual life; actual life being mostly nice and devoid of drama pretty much all the time. And Arrietty was so hot! Sure, she’s a fourteen-year-old cartoon character – but, man, those Japanese drawing boys sure know what they’re doing. What knees! What smoulder when she let her hair fall down! I was hopping in my seat. Girlfriend remarks how odd it is that I’ve never once said anything about any Hollywood starlet yet here I am drooling for an underage animation. Boy, was little caveboy Spiller gonna get his rocks off when Arrietty got down to her prolonging the species dreams!

Contagion

Attracted to this, of course, because of End-of-the-World connotations, which I love. Any film about the end of the world is pretty much a guaranteed winner: shoot some empty, windblown streets and conjure up some mouthwatering possibilities of apocalypse and cataclysmic change and how can you possibly fail? Yet, though Contagion ticked those boxes, I’m not sure, as a movie, it was any more engrossing than a low budget BBC speculative documentary would have been, such as the ones they did a few years back on the supercaldera, etc. Reminded me a bit of those all-star cast seventies disaster movies too – but without ever focussing on any character enough to build up an emotional connection like they did. Where were the singing nuns? The terminally-ill boys? I think they missed a trick there. Still, I didn’t want it to end – never do when it’s a chance to disappear into end-of-the-world fantasies and dream.

Das Boot

Been meaning to watch this for years. Finally did. Was very excellent and flawlessly made and fascinating – and now I’ll probably never think of it again. Isn’t that weird? One of the best films ever and all I really care about it is that I’ve ticked it off my list?

Lift to the Scaffold

Old French black and white movie with Jeanne Moreau and an improvised soundtrack by Miles Davis. Pretty odd flick – but then that’s the French for you. Did people ever really used to talk like that, all that whispy je t’aime-ing and excessive melodrama and such. Not much of it made any sense. Lots of continuity errors too. Nice twist at the end though.

Up In The Air

Thing about writing reviews of several movies at once is by the time I get four or five in I’m pig sick of the whole business. Who gives a fuck? You realise just how brainless and time-filling and stupid most of them are. Das Boot dismissed in three lines, even though loved? A groovy enjoyable flick like this one hardly even worth bothering with? Sure, George Clooney is smooth and the woman is hot and…

Not Another Teen Movie

Now this was fun! All those references and pastiches and piss-takes. Hot chicks and naked chicks. Gross-out fart and shit jokes. And taking the mickey out of the whole idea of movies in general – the last scene particularly killer when the jock calls time on the whole thing and says explicitly, but that’s not what would happen in real life. Loved it! A masterpiece! In fact, loved it so much I watched every single DVD extra and googled the cast too. Isn’t that mad?

Citizen Kane

So many people say this is like the best movie ever, so I thought it was high time I finally got around to ticking it off my list. I was hopeful. Could all those people really be wrong? I mean, it’s not like greatest novel ever – James Joyce’s Ulysses – is a big pile of steaming turgid shite. But this? Better than The Good, The Bad and The Ugly? Better than One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest? Or Forrest Gump, or Jaws, or Not Another Teen Movie? No, I don’t think so. Groundbreaking, maybe – but that don’t really cut it for someone who was born nearly forty years after it was made. I’ve seen The Matrix, fer chrissakes, so who gives a shit about never previously dreamed of camera angles? Penny Farthings were groundbreaking but I don’t see anyone riding them saying “best bike ever, you know.”

Source Code

Kind of interesting. But ultimately left me thinking, hm, that was a bit like an episode of Quantum Leap but nowhere near as good. Nice nod to Scott Bakula in the cameo as Jake how’djaspellit’s dad.

I’m Not Here

I liked this film. I’m not sure why though – by the end of it I was thinking it was really just a very well executed stream of nonsenseness so well dressed up that it almost had me convinced there was meaning in there. Which is kind of how I feel about Bob Dylan’s lyrics. I mean, I’ve tried to find out what all the fuss is about but I’ve never got any further than thinking he mostly writes convincing nonsense poetry so unbelievably lyrical and cryptic that it can mean whatever you want it to mean – plus the occasional line like “the times they are a-changin’” which can do nothing other than evoke a billion images and hope. So, very clever, and pleasant, and beguiling, but…

No Direction Home

What I’m Not Here did make me do, however, was want to know more about Bob Dylan. So I got this one out. Again, very interesting and also reinforcing all that I’ve just said above. Seeing the old original footage that was recreated in I’m Not Here was fun – and really brought home just how groovy and good Cate Blanchett’s performance was. Also seeing the outraged English folkies venting their spleens at Dylan’s electrification. I loved how they were all wearing shirt and tie! And how polite and eloquent they were in their rage. Dug, also, Dylan’s complete disregard for pleasing others and kowtowing – something I think I’d like to learn from. Seems like he’s a dude who’s just doing his thing and having a lot of fun with it. Was a bit disappointed that it didn’t go further, timewise speaking, as I would’ve liked to have learned more about his problems with drugs and alcohol, and also what was going on with the whole Christian conversion thing. Plus, his legendarily secretive womanising.

The Kids Are All Right

This was fun and different enough from the standard Hollywood fare to raise a few thoughts. Can’t remember what they were though. Annette Bening is well convincing as a lesbian. The kids funky cool. Mark Ruffalo’s character doesn’t have much to say for himself – but I guess that’s not his fault. Some nice piss-taking of the whole California share your feelings and get in touch and drink some hemp oil smoothies kind of thing, making out that it doesn’t really work. Maybe it doesn’t.

Beginners

My great and good friend Stevie Jay recommended this one to me – he raved about it – but I couldn’t see what all his fuss was about. Sure, Christopher Plummer was awesome as the dead and/or dying newly-gay dad, all gleeful smiles and discovery and morphine humour – but beyond that? Number one, why Ewan McGregor and his shitty American accent? No American actors in America? Number two, another fuckin’ love story where we’re supposed to buy into all that passion and kookiness and spark and intensity – but, for me, the whole thing’s so far removed from real life that it just leaves me emotionally cold. They exist in a bubble, these Hollywood couples like that. They never do the washing up, never talk about the bills. Okay, maybe it don’t make great celluloid – but if you want to sell me a couple and a love I can believe in, at least give it some resemblance to life on Earth. How can I relate to a people that just float in space?

Way Out West

Okay, so I seen this film about a billion times – but yesterday was like the first time in years and, wow, it’s still amazing and hysterical and harmless and wonderfully-acted and mad. How mad? Crazy mad! I defy anyone to sit through the tickling scene and not fall in love with Stan Laurel. What did he die of? Incredible.