Religious/sexual musings

I have a friend - she's a Christian, a Protestant - and she hates it when I say things like, "oh God!" and "oh Jesus!" such as in the heights of passion or when stubbing a toe. So I try to rein it in but - it's not easy and also I've tried to explain to her that it's all fine and groovy, that God in Her infinite happiness don't mind one jot. She says you shouldn't take the Lord's name in vain. I say, I'm not - vain means "producing no result, useless" - and that's certainly not what I'm doing here. I stub my toe and I instinctively "blaspheme" (as you would say) - but what am I really doing except seeking some cure, some assistance? And when I blast off in sexual ecstasy what higher praise is there than this, to invoke the name of the one that made me, to say, in that involuntarily, heartfelt yelp, "thank you thank you thank you for the gifts You have given me, for the way You have constructed this body: truly, it is sweet"? It's a nice philosophy, no? It makes a lot more sense than some of the others we have - some of which would have you "punished" for even daring to speak the name - which name? which name? - at the wrong time, in the wrong way. I mean, laugh out loud, as God might say.

I know some Christians, too, who are all about that no-sex-before-marriage thing. Well good luck to them: I can dig that. But don't go round judging others just 'cos you don't want to play the game. And don't go thinking that your God up high really cares what we do with our bodies, that there are any rules save the ones we're constantly making up for ourselves each day of our lives. Listen: to borrow an analogy - the parent analogy - do you give your children amazing and wonderful toys and then forbid them to play with them? And then punish them if they do? So what of the one you claim to be smarter than you? What a cruel God you imagine in your ancient fantasies and myths! Was He really such a fiendish tempter? Or have your beliefs perhaps gone a little bit weird along the way?

I also think this: that the idea of no sex before marriage is based on some well old Jewish idea - it's certainly not universal - and that it just doesn't translate so well to the modern world because we tend to go in for long courtships and caution and 'getting to know one another', etc. But you think they waited back in the day? Hell no! A couple of gone sixteen-year-old lovely nubile young Jews clocked eyes on one another and said, baby, I like the look of what you've got, how's about we get it on? And - wam! bam! - quick as they could, they were wed - and quick as they could, they were making love, sweet love. No waiting then. No postponing and denying and moralising and judgement and guilt. Just get it on, baby. Like the advert says: just do it.

But sex without joy? Let's try and avoid that one. And sex based on power, deceit, games, abuse? No no no: not my cup of tea. But if it's yours...? Well, it's a free will world, baby: it's whatever you want to be.