In Morocco. Book in; finished (in a way); and desperately sad. Thought I'd be ecstatic - that university essay handing in feeling - and all the way I was reliving everything and thinking, God, I wish I was doing that again! All of it: Charlottesville, hitch-hiking, time in nature, the canyon, Mexico, spirituality - and then it suddenly ended, at Mount Shasta, and I felt confused and empty: I wanted that too. And that was God. And God is long gone. Six, seven, eight years...of what? Of wanting this. And now it's done...now, I don't know. Like I say: desperately sad and empty. And like I feel it's not as good as I would've wanted. Too rushed, I guess. But done.
I'm done.
And I don't know what comes next...
Sorry for the sadness. Life begins afresh. I could cry. But a certain excitement: it's been a long, long time since I had a blank canvas of a future...
Oh my.
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